Two Sides of One Mess.

 

Side One:

When I'm alone and not talking to you, I feel like I shouldn't like you, that I shouldn't think about you, that I just shouldn't even talk to you. If I don't talk to you, I miss you too much, I wonder if you're thinking the exact same way, or if you even wanna talk to me. I guess you could say I'm love drunk with one of my best friends. Ha, isn't that how it always works. But I can't shake the thought of you. When you don't talk to me for a few days, I get over it. But the moment we start talking frequently again I go back to this whole process without it even seeming like it stopped.

Side Two:
I talk to you. I get crazy happy, oblivious, and can barely speak, think, or talk. Every conversation no matter how small or hard to make through it, I love every minute. Of course I don't want to annoy you so I try not to start them, and I apologize too much but oh well, that's just me. I can't help thinking maybe you are as insane as I am, but then I'm back on the other side where I don't think you are because I'd hope you'd tell me. Honestly, I shouldn't get my hopes up. But when I talk to you, I can't help but to have my hopes thrown up high. After a few day break I'm sure I'll be fine again, for the mean time. As for right now, I'm stuck in that crazy, one-sided, alone, intense love.

Oh you...

How you come back at my weakest, when I'm all alone and I feel as if I have no one. Just silently drowning in my own unhappiness, waiting for a change. Right when I would feel as if the world had walked out on me, and I'm all by myself with nothing and no one, you pop back up. Remind me of why I like you, why you mean so much, and why you are one of my best friends. The small talk means everything to me, and I know that sounds really corny, but it's true. I can't leave the thought of you, and I haven't for a year or so.

The point is that when you show back up, my day brightens, my mind brightens.I don't feel so alone, I don't feel so upset. It's like just talking to you brings me out of my irritable depression, where I yell about everything and can't find myself to smile.One word from you and my mood completely U-turns and so do my thoughts and actions.  I don't know why you make me feel this way, or why you've had such a big affect on me, and honestly I wish I knew. All I can say is that you're important to me, and I don't know where I'd be without you. 

Probably dead I'd imagine. Or at least cutting off everyone from my life. As long as you speak to me, I'm happy. Any word from you and I cheer up instantly. But is it the same for you? Do I have such a big impact on your life, just as you do mine? I guess I'll never know, but you'll always be in my heart. I just hope that's the same for you when it comes to me.

Don't ever forget your Sammy-Kins.
♥