Tables turn...

And people change. Every last one of them. You'll go through the sadness, the depression, those periods of time when the ground seems to be collapsing from under you. Oh, are those the times of pain and feeling nothing but being lost. People around you will tell you, "Don't worry, it'll all be over soon enough, and things will be perfectly fine." Of course they're trying to tell you the truth but unfortunately it's all just a lie. All wounds may heal, but never completely. Trust will never fully be regained, and holes in your world will never be stitched back together all the way.

 But we keep hoping, hoping it'll all be okay...

And then other times you go through the happiness. Smiles, being delighted, and a sense that the world understands you or doesn't even matter. Most people love to live like that, and actually do. They find ways to make the happiness last, and to never even take in the negatives. What a way to live... It's the best way by far, no more tears or any problems. That's exactly what I envy from them. Tables may turn, and people may change but it never seems to have an affect on them. They're happy whether things are horrible or not. They could lost their best friend, have a family member die, or even lose the love of their life and after maybe a day of mopping, they look at the things they have and how much it means to them.

Screw the way things turn out or the people that left, what matters is who's still there beside you and what you still have to look forward to.

And I wish I thought like the happy people...
But I have changed,
my tables have turned,

and I'm stuck on the pessimistic side of the mirror.

Oh you...

How you come back at my weakest, when I'm all alone and I feel as if I have no one. Just silently drowning in my own unhappiness, waiting for a change. Right when I would feel as if the world had walked out on me, and I'm all by myself with nothing and no one, you pop back up. Remind me of why I like you, why you mean so much, and why you are one of my best friends. The small talk means everything to me, and I know that sounds really corny, but it's true. I can't leave the thought of you, and I haven't for a year or so.

The point is that when you show back up, my day brightens, my mind brightens.I don't feel so alone, I don't feel so upset. It's like just talking to you brings me out of my irritable depression, where I yell about everything and can't find myself to smile.One word from you and my mood completely U-turns and so do my thoughts and actions.  I don't know why you make me feel this way, or why you've had such a big affect on me, and honestly I wish I knew. All I can say is that you're important to me, and I don't know where I'd be without you. 

Probably dead I'd imagine. Or at least cutting off everyone from my life. As long as you speak to me, I'm happy. Any word from you and I cheer up instantly. But is it the same for you? Do I have such a big impact on your life, just as you do mine? I guess I'll never know, but you'll always be in my heart. I just hope that's the same for you when it comes to me.

Don't ever forget your Sammy-Kins.
♥